Beyond the banter: Comparing and competing




Sometimes others inspire and motivate us to be better. They don’t necessarily know us and we don’t know them. They speak into our lives without any real depth of knowing. At other times we can be inspired by people who do know us and whom we know fairly well.

As I think about the people who’ve been an inspiration to me, I’m aware that I’ve sometimes made a judgement about them or felt envious of their achievements or wisdom. Sometimes it’s really difficult to be content with who you are and not make that comparison with others. There’s a fine line between being inspired by somebody and feeling envious of all that they seem to be. Many of us know that it’s easy to become discouraged and disillusioned when you compare yourself to others.

It’s totally different when someone who you know well, and who really knows you, speaks wisdom into your life. There can be inspiration or challenge without triggering comparison. You know that they are genuine and have your best interest at heart. It’s great when there is that depth of knowing between people and we don’t have to pretend to be somebody that we’re not.

Over the last twelve years I’ve been involved in running a couple of small groups for blokes. These are a terrific source of inspiration and encouragement. Over time we have developed friendship, trust and security and can now be more open with each other and share how life really is, rather than glossing over things that we struggle with. I encourage you to choose a couple of Wing Men; trusted friends who will support and encourage you. Having friends who don’t judge you, are willing to meet regularly, willing to get beyond the banter to a place of honesty and authenticity are a treasure beyond price.

Main photo credit: Stephan Seeber via Unsplash

Bob Fraser

Bob Fraser is a singer-songwriter, men’s group leader and Regional Director for CVM aiming to open up conversations about life and faith.

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